Calvin, Hobbes, and the First G.R.O.S.S. Victory
by Sirk
Summary: C&H have some new G.R.O.S.S. plans! That's all I can say


Calvin, Hobbes, and the First G.R.O.S.S. Victory  
  
"Okay, ya got all the water balloons, Hobbes?"  
  
"Yep! All 50!" Hobbes replied.  
  
"We only have 50 #@!%& balloons?!?"  
  
"Where do you learn those words??" he asked Calvin.  
  
"Shutup, furball," Calvin insulted Hobbes, "we need to pound Susie with these right now. Look, it says on the attack map to have one hundred balloons. So, Hobbes, tell me why we only have fifty $#%^%$! balloons!!"  
  
"For that remark," Hobbes said, holding his head up high, "I might not even want to go."  
  
"Actually, Hobbes," Calvin sarcastically remarked, "that's quite fond of you. I mean, you'd probably be captured if you went and/or betray me and G.R.O.S.S."  
  
"Look. I don't want any more insults from you. We can try to complete our mission with the remaining quantity of balloons," Hobbes firmly said.  
  
"Yeah," Calvin said semi-sadly, "but haven't you noticed? Even when there are no faults in our plan it doesn't succeed." Both Calvin and Hobbes sighed. "Alright, let's go," Calvin demandingly told Hobbes. So they headed for Susie's house.  
  
"Okay, we're in Susie's yard, so let's go pound her with water balloons. Now where is she?" Calvin looked around Susie's house. "Hmmm. This is going to need some investigation. Hobbes?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm going to need someone to guard our entrance tree. Here's three water balloons. I'm going to go into her house and rout her out. When you see her Hobbes, wham her with the balloons, okay? Got it?"  
  
"But you can't just go in Susie's house!" Hobbes protested.  
  
"Watch me," Calvin said, then he rushed in Susie's door; fortunately it was not locked. Calvin crept inside slowly, partially afraid of being seen, but mostly to give Susie a big scare!!  
  
Hobbes had been waiting outside all this time for a signal to strike. All of a sudden he saw Calvin dart out of the house. "Hey, Calvin, is this like the attack signal or.."  
  
Calvin didn't seem to be listening at all. He just ran forward despairingly. A moment later Susie Derkins appeared on the scene, untouched by a water balloon but with one of her own. Calvin had none and was backed against the fence. "See?" Susie said. "See what happens when you tried to ambush someone? You never do learn, do you, Calvin? Time for your final punishment!"  
  
All this time Hobbes had been aiming with exact precision a shot to permanently lodge the water balloon's marks in Susie's skull. He heaved the balloon at her with high velocity and hit a bull's-eye on her head. She fell down and dropped her balloon next to Calvin. "Thanks-a-million, Hobbes!" Calvin said still sweating from fear intensively.  
  
"Your welcome, but no time for chit-chat! Let's finish this!"  
  
"Right!" It was needless to say Calvin picked up Susie's balloon and pulverized her with it. Hobbes got his two and nailed Susie too. She was soaked and probably unconscious. "Hurry, Hobbes! Before she sees us!"  
  
"What's the rush?"  
  
"-sigh- Haven't you read the rulebook at all, Hobbes? Don't you know anything at all?" Calvin asked him.  
  
"Well, I think I know some algebra, yes. and science." Hobbes replied, purposely trying to aggravate him.  
  
"It was rhetorical! But I guess you already knew that. Anyway, section X, part DAB, sentence E clearly states that all non-members may not, I repeat may not discover location of Entrance tree or any other secret path. So let's go !" Calvin and Hobbes climbed and swung across the tree limbs until they reached the G.R.O.S.S. Fortress.  
  
Later, while he was reading comic books with Hobbes, Calvin said to him, "Hey Hobbes? Thanks for saving my butt back there!"  
  
"No prob," Hobbes replied.  
  
"And Hobbes? Now that we know we can beat Susie, when should we plan another mission?"  
  
"Right away," he replied.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Calvin said, completely forgetting what he'd just said, "we need to get merits for us and a rank-up for you! How's 'Grandiose Tigris' sound?"  
  
"Cool!" Hobbes said, actually listening now.  
  
"Yeah, and the best part is that we had fun." 


End file.
